Burn-out
I have been doing this for so long, I can barely remember the person I was before I started writing about CLL, back in 2002. It has been a pretty wild ride! My heart-felt thanks to all the friends I have made on this journey. You made it possible for me to get out of bed each morning, especially in the aftermath of my husband’s death in the summer of 2008. I do not think I would have made it but for the generosity and affection of this patient community. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
But I must confess I have been experiencing burn-out for the past few months and I realize it is time for me to step back for a while. You need a patient advocate who is quick on her toes, brings a high level of energy & empathy to the “job” but takes no prisoners in the process of representing you. I hope I have been all that, and I hope I will fit that job description again sometime in the future. Wish me luck. I would like to think this is just a “so long” and not a “good-bye”.
Before you freak out, I want to make sure you understand we are not (repeat, not) shutting down the websites. CLL Topics, Updates and Harvey’s Journal websites will continue to be hosted and available to all who are interested in visiting them (many thanks to our devoted webmaster, Radha. Way to go, kid). Between the three websites we have a tremendous amount of information. I hope you will continue to use these resources to learn more about your disease, your therapy options etc. Please develop the habit of using the search box at the top right hand corner of the home page. It is a pretty good search engine and it will help you find specific articles that are of interest to you.
Many of you have honored me with your friendship and support. You know who you are! You are not just “members” or “patients” to me, I can no more walk away from you than I can walk away from my own family. I will continue to respond to emails from you, and if you need my help, I will do my best to help in any way I can – including my infamous “2 cents” worth of layperson reading of the tea-leaves.
Monthly meetings at my home will be on hold until I get back from my “sabbatical”. We just finished our October 6 meeting. Very intense, full house. It has been a pleasure meeting so many of you face-to-face. November and December meetings we had announced earlier are hereby cancelled as well.
I will still honor requests fortelephone consultations when we have complex issues that cannot be discussed in emails.
There is no question that I will be writing far less frequently.
Seeing how things are going to be different around here, I think it is only fair that we will stop accepting donations, starting January 1, 2013. If you had been planning on hitting that donate button but have been putting it off – hint, hint – this is your chance to stop procrastinating. As of the beginning of the New Year, the “Donate” button will be removed from the website.
The last four years have been a very hard slog for me. You have CLL of the body. As for me, I have CLL in my soul. It is just as incurable, just as deadly as the physical variety, there is just as much mind-numbing fatigue of the body and spirit that “normal” people do not understand, just as much grief when I lose friends. There have been too many of them over the years, scars on my psyche that won’t heal because I keep picking at them. When there is a cure for you, I too will be cured. In the meantime, I need a bit of time to sort things out in my own head and recharge my emotional reserves. Spend more time playing with my new puppy dog. Perhaps re-visit Dharamsala when I go off to India in a couple of weeks. If he had been still around, PC would have done his typical snarky thing, rolling his eyes at my need to contemplate my own navel for a while.
Remember, no one is indispensable – not even little ol’ me! There will be other patient advocates stepping up to the plate. The only one who gets to sit in the driver’s seat is you, so please stay engaged in your own healthcare.
Be well,
Chaya
150 comments on "Au revoir, not good-bye."
Thanks for all your efforts, Chaya, and the wonderful help this site has been to me and others.
Enjoy your sabbatical – we all need some downtime, me-time occasionally. Often we come back stronger.
Take care,
Rick.
Au revoir, à tout à l’heure, a bientôt. A very well deserved time for yourself and your Aussie. You will be missed and we will all continue to know and appreciate how much you have helped each and every one of us. Frank and I will be OMMM-ing for you, thumb and finger pointed skyward. Our love and hearts go out to you. And, “the check’s in the mail.” ~Fran
I so well understand all you say, I have just been in Spain for two weeks away from it all up in the mountains in small villages, and I also wondered if I should have a sabbatical sometime in the near future.
Do all the things you enjoy doing recharge your batteries we will always be here for you just like you always been there for us all.
love and hugs
Chonette
I don’t visit often but when I do I always come away “educated”. You have a wonderful way of explaining the complex scientific terms in a very easy manner. Thanks for all your work.
Have a wonderfully relaxing sabbatical.
Your words and articles are both comforting and reassuring as well as guidance for me on my CLL journey. CLL Topics is the first place I look for information.
Thank you for everything you have done for ALL of us.
love and hugs
Beverley
Thanks so much for all your efforts and your friendship. you deserve the break for yourself. You have been an amazing wealth of knowledge and an amazing friend! I am stronger because of you. Please do stay in touch. i will keep you posted on my progress. Jean
Chaya,
Thank you for all of your hard work on our behalf. I don’t know what I would have done in my early days without your website, translations and willingness to respond to questions. You made this disase so much less frightening. Thank you for leaving the websites up. I can completely understand the burnout. Let us hear from you once in a while, just to touch base. It might not be a bad idea to leave a “donate” address, if the link will be taken down. It’s been such a long journey, hasn’t it? All the best, deep respect, and with a big hug. I will miss you more than words can say.
Ann, Albuquerque, NM
Dear Chaya !
I fully understand the need to ‘log off’ for a while … having done so myself.
All the best + take care !
Paul
Internally I’m screaming NO. But I do want to give you a hug and a
Tremendous THANK YOU. You will be in my heart and my energy
At every yoga session. Know that you have given me so much
Courage with your honesty and your knowledge I am so glad you have
Shared this pls it with me.
This sabbatical is sooo deserved. You have given so much to each of us whose lives you’ve touched. For me, yours was the first site I visited when receiving my dx in 2007 and as I got my nerve up to study at becoming my own expert advocate, yours is the site to which I constantly return. You connected me with NIH and their Natural History Study, for which I can never thank you enough. Your analysis of medical articles and your editorial comments have also been invaluable to so many of us as we have tried to find our way in the complex topology of our disease. I could go on and on and will elaborate to you one way or another .. although we haven’t yet met face to face, I know we are connected through the bonds of your generosity.
In the Hawaiian culture, one doesn’t say Goodbye .. but rather Aloha ‘oe a hui hou .. sending you aloha / love until we meet again. And please give His Holiness a hug for me if you visit Dharmasala. I’ve heard from a friend that sitting with him is amazing .. he loves to tickle people, loves to see them laugh. I think that’s a message for all of us and for you .. I wish you many tickles and much laughter.
Love and aloha to you, dear Chaya.
If there is such a thing as getting CLL at a good time, I did. Dxed in 2002 I learned so much from you and Dr. Hamblin to help me cope with my Cll and have hope. I am still W&w and I too have stepped away from daily reading lists etc. while I still can. There is more to life than CLL.
Thanks for all you’ve done Chaya
john
Chaya, I have not been a frequent visitor to your site, but I have especialy liked your editorials following an article. Your site was(is) unique and you must have poured an incredible amount of your personal energy into it. Thankyou very much. Now I must muddle through my own issues. The very best to you.
Gerry
Thank you for all you have done for me, my husband, and all of us who have turned to this site when we faced the first shock of CLL or the later challenges. I hope you enjoy your well-earned sabbatical.
Aaaaaahh, Chaya! It had to happen. The intensity of your work for us, your memories of PC’s illness, and all your caregiving — how vital your respite is! I’m sure it will be healing and rejuvenating in a billion ways. You are modeling one of the most important aspects of dealing with illness: attending to our psychic as well as physical needs. You go, Girl! You will always have a solid and special place in my heart. Safe journey, and be well, dear friend.
Lots of love,
Sherry Gardner
A more deserving person to go and study her navel I have yet to find ;)
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the hope you have given to all us CLL patients.
Through your dedication and efforts for all these last few years.
You have vied us up with your efforts and hope !
and whatever the future brings you carry our eternal gratitude and
deserve to put Chaya first for a change.
I look forward to your refreshed return IF that is what happens, but if it needs to be goodbye!
You leave us all stronger for your presence in our lives.
Good luck and enjoy your lovely puppy and trip to India.
Loving regards
Baabee/Barbara x
Chaya, it is time for you to take some time for yourself, no doubt. I hope you will be back, even if only from time to time. We have been through a lot over the last 11 years, and you have helped me much. I will always be glad you got to have your trip here to Oregon with PC for some R&R those years ago, happy that I have known you so many years, and very happy that you will concentrate on your own health for a while.
With love,
Beth and Mark
I visited this website many times before I registered and I would like to say so many thanks for your inspiration , information and , yes , care for and about us all .
I hope your time out brings you tranquility and strength .
Peace and love x
Thank you so much for everything you have done for so many of us – I’m not sure how we’ll cope without you; we’ll certainly miss your unique way with words.
You helped to make the complex more understandable and armed with that knowledge, I have felt so much more empowered.
Take care of yourself Chaya.
Love XXX
YEAH FOR YOU!!!! I’m happy for you!
When my husband died, it took me 4 years to try on my own shoes again. I hit bottom emotionally and year 4 was my turning point. In two days, I will have been wearing my own shoes for 13 years. I’m proud of myself and I wish for you the same healing I have experienced. Your soul will sing again, I promise.
Chaya, I want to thank you for helping me LIVE. I was diagnosed with CLL 5 years ago with the responsibility of raising 3 children by myself. Intellectualizing my disease (your website) helped me to gather myself emotionally so I could continue my life without a nervous breakdown. I have CLL in my sinuses and in my tonsils. I have tumors in my brain (not CLL). You have helped me more than you could ever imagine. My first grade students thank you also!!!
My gift to you is to let you go. Don’t look back. You will find your joy again. I’m very proud of you because I know how hard this next step in your life feels.
PS: You and your dog look perfect together!
Go!!!! Have FUN!!!
Thank you for providing me with the resources with which to understand my disease. You have helped me to move forward with confidence.
Blessings,
Dave
Say it ain’t so Joe! I think I am already suffering from separation anxiety . :-) …
Chaya thank you for all you have done for us. I can think of no one more deserving of a sabbatical. Please enjoy your time with your family and I wish you safe passage and a time of renewal of body, soul and spirit.
Just another star struck fan
Js.
“You need a patient advocate who is sharp on her toes, brings a high level of energy & empathy to the “job” but takes no prisoners in the process of representing you. I hope I have been all that”
Chaya, you have been all that and more, much more. I too thank you for all you have given us, both individually as well as collectively.
Thoroughly enjoy your sabbatical. I am delighted that you will have more time for yourself, family, friends and puppy.
Au revior!
June
Dear Chaya,
I cannot thank you enough for what you have done for me.
You have been a vital source of information about CLL that I couldn’t find elsewhere. I also credit you with saving my life. You let me know about the NIH clinical trial for PCI32765 (ibrutinib) and gave me the information I needed that helped me get into the trial. My CLL, which I had been battling for 18 years, and endured four sets of treatment, had come back with a vengeance and I was looking at more treatment and a stem cell transplant. Now I am happy to report that none of that had to happen. After 6 months on the trial drug my CLL is technically in remission and hopefully will stay that way as long as I continue taking by little gray caplets every day.
You have devoted so much of yourself to this cause, I can well understand how you might be burned out. Certainly, more monetary contributions from us are in order. Please take care of yourself and know how much you have helped so many of us.
Warmly,
Linda Myers
Ithaca NY
LBM3@cornell.edu
Thank you. Totally understand but someone needs to step up to continue your fine work in translating the latest research into information we can understand. No other website does the job that you have done. You will be missed.
Your value to us is priceless, your absence will be immeasurable. But I wish you peace and happiness wherever you are.
Thank you for everything, dear lady!
janejs
Thank you for your invaluable information. Take care.
Chaya-
I totally understand your need to get out there and live life! Burn out is something that I understand and getting away from it all is truly healing! You will be missed by so many, but all with understanding and the best wishes for you! Go find that woman deep inside you that closed her wings temporarily in 2002. Life is still wondrous!
BIG HUGS AND KISSES
Jenny Lou
Sedona is calling. “You have done your best writing in the valley of the Red Rocks. “God Bless You”
John and Judy
thankyou chaya, this has been invaluable, travel well and peacefully
Thank you Chaya for the fantastic work you have done and for sharing both your informed insight and your personal journey. I know the website will continue to be an invaluable resource as I face different stages of the CLL.
In the meantime, I’m taking a sabbatical too – off to India for a few months from November (while I still can). I’m a little apprehensive about the work-out for the immune system but have been promising myself a little extra time to travel and write ever since the diagnosis a few years ago…
I really hope we’ll have you back before too long. As someone in the communication business as my day job, I really appreciate your ability to explain and interpret the important messages from complex medical developments. It will be hard to replace you!
May you enjoy a well-deserved rest and revitalising travels.
With heartfelt thanks and best wishes from Brisbane, Australia.
Julia
Dearest Chaya,
I’ve opened this email in the gym. I am listening to Leonard Bernstein conduct the last movement of Beethoven’s 9th Symphony. I look at the glorious photo of you with your darling Buddy and my heart fills with joy.
I consider the music a fortuitous omen supporting the marvelous journey which awaits you in Chapter 3. Please post updates and photos.
It’s written the purpose in life is to matter … to have it make some difference that we lived at all. In my book, you have done this with passion, great generosity, enormous heart and wisdom. Thank you for showing us we are not victims but warriors.
I know I will always be thirsty for your presence.
All my love, always… (and to you I pledge the Brownie curse will be broken!)
Diana
as a “good bucket” person and a biomedical researcher I have been visiting the site for for a long time for information. but like everyone else, know that the information isn’t the most important thing that you are contributing, you are giving of yourself, and we need you to replenish and be move forward. good travels
Chaya,
Thank you.
Thank you for teaching us not to accept the verdict of the “specialists” without checking other ways.
Thank you for showing us how to educate ourselves and be strong and stand our points.
You helped me save my husband a couple of times and not to accept automatically the verdict of physicians too sure of themselves who did not care to aceept other opinions.
Go look for your internal peace until you could contain your own loss and we all hope to hear from you again sometimes.
We love you very much and wish you peace and hapiness.
Annette and Gideon
“People don’t realize, he said, how important it is to wake up every morning with a song in your heart.” J. Krishnamurti. “The song stands for a sense of joy in existence, a joy that is free of any good or bad choices.”
Chaya, I’m going to miss you! And I definitely hope that, someday soon, you are able to wake up with a glorious song in your heart.
Safe travels, my friend.
Chaya,
Thank you for all you have done for us for so many years. Your expertise and dedication on our behalf in the face of personal loss is a marvel to us all.
We will all miss you as you seek the inner peace and quiet life you so richly deserve.
Namaste
lndia.dia
Dear Chaya,
I’m so glad you’re doing what’s best for yourself. Burn-out is a terrible thing and we not always recognized. You may have indeed be slogging along but it didn’t show here. You can take all the time you want, even forever, knowing that the contribution you’ve made could not have been done by anyone else — the combination of rare circumstances that made you so committed have meant so much to so many. From GrannyBarb days,I say “bon voyage,” and a huge thank-you.
-Ellen D.
Thank you for everything, Chaya.
Wishing you peace and renewal,
Betsy
Thank you for all you have done and the wonderful, helpful information you have provided. Even as someone with CLL and someone who has studied CLL as an epidemiologist, there are times I have had to take a break from the various listservs to which I subscribe because it can be less than helpful for my mental health. Thank you and Radha for keeping the websites active. They are a fabulous resource. Thank you so much. Like the previous poster, wishing you renewal, rest, and restoration… and lots of laughter.
Shelia
You’ve been my best source for information for the past 6+ years. I’ll miss your articles and support, but you certainly have the love and support of so many of your loyal followers. Enjoy your “sabbatical” or whatever it turns out to be.
Jim
Chaya,
My deepest thanks. You are one of the angels. (A driven, pugnacious one, which is even cooler.)
Your website was invaluable in the first weeks after I was diagnosed. It was my go-to site for up-to-date, solid information.
May your rest bring you peace and rejuvenation.
Steve
Thank you.
Chaya –
Without the website I would have believed the worst based on my initial diagnosis by the stone-ager oncologist my GP sent me to. CLL Topics guided me to explore exactly what I had and in my case it was relatively good news (A bucket prognostics). This basically changed my outlook on life compared to what I was originally “misinformed” 6 years ago. I can never thank you enough for all your efforts to help all of “us”. Enjoy your down time and when you get bored, we’ll still be here and will welcome you back in whatever role works for you. God bless.
Chaya,
Thank you for all those very informative articles. Rest, enjoy life, you sure deserve it.
Wishing you the very best.
Monique
Chaya, you’ve been a godsend to SO many people! You deserve to walk away. I walked away from my job of 22.5 years in June. I also walked away from a breast cancer support group (my way of being there for the newbies) around that time. Both moves felt like a yoke was lifted from my shoulders! I think I know how you must be feeling. Just know I love you and wish you the very best in your new LIFE and endeavors! I’ll miss you, but that’s ok. I’ll get over it! THANK YOU, and Bless you, Sweet Angel of Peace!
PS. Great choice on the puppy! So incredibly smart! You look great, too!
Margaret
Thank you for all the information you have provided us over the years. What has truly been valualbe is debunking the propaganda from certain drug companies on their products. I do not know how your insite in this area can be replaced. Hopefully it will not be too long and you will return in the near future and again help all of us.
Wayne
Dear Chaya,
I am so pleased you are going to take time for you. As you dedicated yourself to us, may your every hour be blessed with peace knowing you are special and deeply honored?
Deepest gratitude,
Love,
Jean
Oh Chaya, how I have depended on your up to date CLL/SLL treatment research postings since my husbands 2007 11q del CLL diagnosis. Unfortunately his remission from FCR lasted less than 3 years as CLL was found in his BMB Feb 2012. You taught us to ask questions, request copies of all tests, get second opinions from large CLL centers and much much more.
Wishing you fair winds and following seas my friend! I will look forward to your return to CLL topics as I cannot say goodbye………..Blessings, Eileen
P.S. you and Buddy look wonderful together :)
Dear Chaya, It’s with a heavy (but totally understanding) heart that I read this “au revoir, not good-bye” article.
I cannot possibly ever thank you enough for all the heavy lifting you have done for the CLL community.
When I was dx Oct. 2009 I faced much fear and confusion. Being analytical by nature (and profession) I needed to locate resources that would enable me to learn about CLL. When I found your websites I knew I had struck gold so to speak. I spent months going through all the excellent information you provide. Your resources for the newly diagnosed are outstanding. Your CLL updates are a constant source of so much valuable info presented in easy to understand lay persons language.
I know all this must have required a great deal of your time and effort. Then there has to be the constant emotional toll you pay for all your heartfelt caring and sharing.
Dear Chaya, I can only say how very much I appreciate all that you have done and accomplished for us. You have been one of my most trusted companions (as I walk thru my CLL journey). My heart is filled with admiration and deep affection for you.
I do hope it is au revoir and not good bye as we would all miss you terribly. Do whatever you need to lighten your load but stay in touch with your CLL family. We love you and will want to know how you are doing.
Love & hugs,
Patti
There’s a special place reserved in heaven for people like you, Chaya.
In the meantime, rest well, be at peace knowing how very many people have been enlightend and encouraged by your easy to understand explanations and descriptions. Thank you so much. I wish we could have met to say thank you in person. Judy
Chaya – We can’t help others if we don’t take care of ourselves (and our puppies!). Enjoy your time off. You have more than earned it. While you will certainly be missed while you renew, I’m glad that you have realized the need to do so. I’m also so grateful that I was able to meet you in person in Niagara! If you decide to travel and your travels bring you to southern California, be sure to let me know.
Pat Kennedy
The tall lady in the red jacket.
Dear Chaya,
You will be very much missed. You have been so very generous with your time, skills and resources; frankly, I don’t know how you did this work so faithfully for so long and kept my spirits up while at the same time you suffered such great loss. In my heart of hearts, I thought this day would come much sooner; I am so very grateful you have braved this storm as long as you have.
I hope your trip home to India will bring you peace and that you will find your family in good health. You look so beautiful and charming holding your puppy who will also miss you.
Be well and stay safe,
Betty
Dear Chaya, seems like only yesterday that we “met” on Granny Barb’s list–I joined in 2001, had FCR in 2004 and have enjoyed 8 years of remission since then. I still follow CLL Topics faithfully and know that we will never be able to show you adequate gratitude for all you have done for us! Please enjoy every minute of your well deserved rest and take good care of Chaya. I am glad you are following your heart and doing what is best for you at this time. We cherish you and look forward to whatever the future brings.
Blessings
Ann Acevedo
Dear Chaya–You did your usual clear and understandable explanation of your sabbatical. Well said and well deserved.
I “amen” all the comments above abour what a blessing you have been to me.
Carter
Dear Chaya,
I just recently met you, but you put me on the right track. I will be forever grateful. Enjoy your time of rejuvenation and renewal! Most of all have fun and know that you have been such a blessing to so many! Thank you again and safe travels. I hope our paths cross again!
Best wishes,
Debbie
Dearest Chaya.
It was a pleasure meeting you in N.F. three years ago.
When I was dx , I thought that I would be dead before the year was out.. Then I found you… Thank God!!!!
Your grasp on our ‘disorder’ and the clear explaination of the different terminology and stages put not only my mind at ease, but countless others who were told “You have CLL, Come back in six months but besure to have your labs done before the appointment. Goodbye.”No explaination, no information, no! not nothing! Then I found you.
I had anxiety attacks, night sweats, the whole nine yards. Then I found you.
Have a good rest.
Enjoy your time in India with your family. And I think the donate button should remain up.
You have been so helpful to me. True largesse. Above and beyond. We’ll see in Dec if my BMA reveals CR. Good chance. And then the question will be, how long. I see that MDA has CLL on its new cure list–they probably wouldn’t make that pledge unless they thought they were close, and they oughta know. Let’s hope you can retire. Go back and see HHDL. And all those cheery Tibetans. Thank you. Thank you.
Steve Boyd
Thank you! You were there during my first few month after initial news night after night reading teaching me… us Words can express my graditude to very thing you’ve done. i will miss Your Voice! A ray of light, God Bless you!!
Dear Chaya,
CLL topics, and your unbelievable commitment to it, is so much appreciated. I can’t say “thank you” enough for all that this site means to me. I have read every article several times over and many more then that.
I wish you the very best for you sabbatical and trip home. Come back refreshed and recharged – your insights are needed.
Wish you could have met, but that will come later.
John
As someone on the inside, I think the patients can’t really understand the need for a true patient’s advocate. There are some truly selfless, brilliant and compassionate CLL physicians. Terry Hamblin represented this group well. Unfortunately, there are all too many data fakers who stack clinical trials for their friends in big pharam. Egomaniacs who care more about their next grant and drug money than they do their patient. I have known them personally and seen how they work in the biggest labs and small. Wolves in sheep’s clothing who stand in the way of the scientific method’s attempt to cure cancer. Occasionally the very best and brightest, with all the best intentions, have gotten a well deserved slap on the wrist here for believing the hype and letting it slip into their treatment protocols.
The advice given here allows a CLL patient a fighting chance to wade through a mine field they should not have to traverse. Thank you for all your efforts.
Have only been signed up for a short time but have been investigating here since my love was diagnosed 6 years ago. Thank you for your investment in so many others. May you find peace and be refilled to overflowing…blessed beyond how we have been by your efforts.
And one more. Thank you, Chaya. You answered my queries via email so quickly and clearly. And this service you have given to others has changed lives and given hope and optimism where there was only dreadful fear. You have made a massive impact on so many people in this situation. I have never met you, but you work and your spirit has been hugely influential in helping us all feel worthy when dealing with the professionals. Than you again.
Chaya,
When I saw the ‘au revoir’ I feared for a moment that you might be ill – so relieved that it is not so. Like Terry and Granny Barb you are a hero in the Cll world. Thanks.
Have a wonderful life.
Mary
I first found this site, You, when I was going nuts trying to find out just some little thing that I could understand. I found out that you Chaya was the closeset little thing I could understand…sometimes. But sometimes was far better than notimes and nothings. Thank you. With all my heart thank you. I will miss you. Someday…
Dear Chaya, thank you for everything you’ve done! You are truly invaluable. I wish you a nice, long, joyous and relaxing me-time. I’ve learned so much from you! God bless you!
Fangfarrier
I learnt so much about Cll, when I needed to and from you through your many articles over the years for which |I shall for ever be grateful. In particular I learnt to ‘live my life’ despite the disease.
Enjoy your sabbitacal and let some of the other excellent Cll experts take on the job of disseminating the information we need.
Au revoir.
Hugh
The purpose of our journey has ended for both of us; yours before mine. Perhaps you will remember this at the time of PC’s death:
Do not go gentle into that good night –
Dylan Thomas
I would give the same advice to you as you move forward with your life.
Thanks for the ride!
Bruce
Living with CLL and what I call the Sword of Damacles is not easy and it is often our loved ones who carry a lot of the stress. I can only imagine the stress you go through every day as you guide, inform and deeply care about this challenging disease. Thanks for everything, was a pleasure finally meeting you at this years CLL Patient Conference in Niagara Falls.
Live well live long and now it is time for YOU.
Derek
CLL Topics and Dr. Hamblin’s blog were lifesavers to me when I was first diagnosed with CLL. They helped me come to grips with my “new normal.” Thank you so much for this site, Chaya, and for all the work you’ve put into it these past many years. And very best wishes to you, too. I hope you will find this helpful: Like Dr. Hamblin, I have discovered that true and lasting peace and joy can only be found in Jesus Christ.
So long and hopefully not good-bye. I will miss you!
justme
Dearest Chaya,
First, Thank You! From myself and the hundreds to thousands of others in the cybersphere that have learned from you, thank you for caring enough to put things in a way we understand them.
Second, Thank You! For giving of yourself to complete and total strangers. Thank you for adopting us as your family! I believe there are invisible strings that tie us to the people we have touched. Girl, I believe you have the largest ball of string ever!
We all need a break or to find new direction in our lives. Thank you for providing the information that allowed me to take a break from the shadow of the monster. Although I will feel adrift without you around, I know that this is best move for you and I pray that blessings will flow at your feet on your journey. I wish you “Fair winds and following seas” my friend.
Elaine
Dear Chaya,
I want to say thank you so much for all the information that you offer, especially since I found it impossible to find an equally informative and personal site in Europe.
I wish you all the best and lots of joy with your supercute puppy dog.
Dear you, dear Chaya!
I think I can say that I owe you MY sanity; were it not for the finding of your eminently sane and humorous site, I feel I would have gone under! Not from the disease but from the insensitivity to and disregard for my humanity shown by those who insisted on diagnosing a disease which did not need any treatment, (after four years still not. I have learnt to sit back and count to ten….at least some times….! Thank you so much!
The haematologist I see also thanks you, you sort out so many relevant articles and your interpretations have the ring of sense about them which is so sorely needed; it makes it “comprehendable” very quickly, I shall miss you very much!
I do however, along with all your other friends, appreciate that you need some time to be you, to find that inner strength which will carry you through. I wish you well; keep walking the dog, bury your face in the fur and drift……..
With gratitude, stay well, Mette
Dear Chaya,
Enjoy your much deserved rest. As one of the many who was led to your site when slamed in the face with a diagnosis of CLL, I am forever in your debt. I found your site in 2004 and have been a fervent reader since. You have helped me find peace of mind and a purpose I didn’t think possible on that fateful day in April. I cried when the world lost the wonderful man that was your husband. Your dedication on our behalf is unmatched and will be truly missed. I want to cry at the thought of losing you, but rejoice that you are off on an adventure truly earned.
Dear Chaya,
You’ve given selflessly for so long and to such great effect that it’s impossible to begrudge you some time for yourself. You can take with you on sabbatical the profound gratitude of all of us.
Although I can’t begin to repay all you’ve done, I will click through from here to make a donation as a valedictory token of respect and thanks.
Barry
Dear Chaya,
All The Best,
Greg
Dear Chaya, a profound thank you. What else can one say? CLL Topics has guided so many through the maze of a CLL diagnosis and will continue to do so.
Please enjoy your sabbitacal and best wishes.
Jeff
Dear Chaya
NOBODY could have done more to help CLL patients. You have been a gift to all of us. Now it is time for you to give yourself the gift of time to heal. I’m sure that Buddy will be happy to entertain you whilst you discover new ways to spend your time.
Wishing you health and happiness always.
Pam
Dear Chaya,
My thoughts and prayers for you as you rest and deal with burn-out.
My how I remember the feelings.
I will miss our email chats and encouragement.
Give your pooch an extra hug when needed. That’s me wishing you the Best.
I think of you always and as you know wishing you Love and Many Blessings.
Rita
Chaya: You deserve your time to live your life. You have given so much of yourself to help others, and you have made dealing with CLL so much more humane with your pragmatic yet compassionate approach.
Chaya take all the time off you need, or take it off permanently — you are owed that for all the folks that you have helped. God Bless you Chaya, and I did get your hint (thanks for reminding me).
Regard, and simply thank you for being you. You have many people around the world that love you for what you have done to help them. Dan (ole oil patch friend of yours).
Dear Chaya,
Thank you for being a feisty and empathetic source of info and support. I am so glad you are taking time to nurture yourself.I love the pic of you and puppy.
Be well,
Sandy
Dear Chaya
What more can I say than THANK YOU for everthing you have done for us all!
Dave (in England) xx
our own concerns have to bow to yours, you’ve given us all a backbone, an armature on which to build our own support, so bow we do, in your honor.
You taught us to fish, as the legend goes.
personally, you whipped me into shape, and it was necessary, guided and advised, always on top of the new, but tempering the hype. I doubt I’d be where I am if not for you, and your family’s efforts.
safe travels, recharge your spirit and follow your heart. Thanks so much Chaya, ditto, a superb photo of you and a wonderful new life friend,
warm wishes, Beth (Fillman)
Chaya
I feel very fortunate to have spent time with both you and PC in Sedona. I found PC’s humor and smile to be so very special in the face of our disease. Chaya, you have been my fountain of knowledge, a good friend, and I love you so much for your help in my fighting this disease. I do not know where I would be without your support.
Enjoy India and whatever other adventures you find along the way. Just remember that if you are down, one kiss from Buddy will make you smile. Also, know that each and every one of us thank you for your support, and we are here for you.
Much Love,
Anne
Dear Chaya,
Just wanted to add my thank you to the many already expressed. You have been our rock in a troubled sea. My wish for you and Buddy is for peace, healing and much happiness. One tip: if Buddy is flying with you, please apply your fantastic research skills to the safety of the airline you’re using in regard to animal health and safety.
Much love,
Jean
Dear Chaya,
I actually cried when I read your post. I have never met you in person but your websites and postings have been one of my strongholds since being diagnosed with CLL last summer. Your intelligence, compassion, and humor, and of course, all the fantastic information you provide, have helped me cope with the shock of being diagnosed. You have inspired us with your courage and guided us with your wisdom. We are deeply grateful for all you have done.
All the best to you, Chaya! Please take the time you need for yourself- there is more to life than CLL and you I know you have been immersed in it since PC was diagnosed.
Thank you!
Colleen
I will miss your clarity, patience, compassion, and fighting spirit. Who now is there to guard the guardians?
Thank you so much Chaya for all your support and guidane. I will continue to keep you, Radha and Pete in my daily prayers!
God bless you and your family ~ always!
Patti
Best to you dear Chaya. You have certainly earned your sabbatical. You have been helpful to me and so many people. My wish is that you will bolster your soul and shed some of the CLL chains that can wear one down. I will picture you on a wonderful and healing journey and know you will always be with us in spirit.
Chris R
NY and AZ
Hello Chaya,
I always like your tone of voice, the directness and humor.
Thanks for everything, take care and I wish you all the best!
Bernet [Amsterdam, the Netherlands]
Dear Chaya,
Thank you very much for having us here, I can not thank you enough.
Soon I will send you some more information about my father’s progress in richter’s transformation. You have really inspired us onthis a lot.
Very best regards, I wish you all the best!
You look fantastic!!! The puppy is such a joy to see. Thank you for all the years you have been there for me and others. It has been nine years since I found your words of wisdom. I appreciate every moment.
You deserve to have your soul healed and I know you will be there when the cure comes to us.
It has been such an honor to correspond with you during my six cancers.
Be well friend. Colleen Filanowski
Dear Chaya — Im so very glad I finally got the chance to meet you after all these years of relying on your knowledge and friendship.
I had a feeling this time in your life was coming. You need to help and love yourself for a while so you can come back to us refreshed and ready to take it on again. And I have no doubt you will at some point be knocking on the researchers doors and causing havoc once again:-)
Cll might not be in your blood but I think all your cll friends are:-)
Take good care – put us all out of your mind and enjoy your time with your mom and your country.
Im sure you will still here from some of us when we get anxious and find no where else to turn …. I cant tell you how much I have appreciated your information throughout the years. If not for you I might have gone on that Campath journey to no where years ago!!
love – Darlene
Dear Chaya,
We will be forever grateful to you and PC for all you have done for the CLL community and for us as Tom battled this disease. We wish you the best for the future. Can you give Buddy a cookie for me?
sue & tom sweeney
Au revoir and best wishes as you take the needed time to replenish your spirit. You have the cutest dog I’ve seen! May God guide your path and be by your side.
Debbie
Dearest Chaya:
WE LOVE YOU!! You have been the most vibrant incarnation of an angel that most of us have ever met: selfless, encouraging, tireless. We are delighted to hear you will be nourishing your soul and giving yourself more breathing room. We can only imagine the toll it must take being the CLL Oracle of the Universe (yes, that’s correct). Be healthy, free your mind, soak up puppy-love, go for long hikes and massages, and drink really nice wine. Our hearts are always with you. We won’t lose touch dear friend!
xoxo
Barb & Blair
Dear Chaya,
You are most deserving of an au revoir, time to contemplate, or whatever you must do to be healthy and happy. You have educated, advocated, and done so much for so many.
Deepest thanks,
Claudia
Dear Chaya,
Words cannot express my gratitude and appreciation for all you have done for me and the CLL community. Since my dx 2 years ago, you have provided me with knowledge, courage, support, and a take-charge spirit. I will be forever grateful for the introductiom to the NIH Natural History Study.
My heart is heavy but I wish you all the best and much happiness on your next adventure.
Warmest wishes,
Susan
Chaya,
Many thanks for all the help and information over the years. Enjoy your well earned rest and enjoy your travels.
Regards,
Jim
Dear Chaya,
Thank you for all your work and caring. I don’t remember how I first found your web site, but I have read and followed much of your advice–like if you live close enough to a specialized hospital, that would be the best place to go. I live 107 miles from James Cancer Center at
the Ohio State University. I went to their website and found a number to call to get scheduled in with Dr. Jones (he works with Dr. Byrd and others). I don’t know what I might have done if I hadn’t found you! Right now I have a remission from the CLL and my Lymphoma transformation. My radiation treatment ended March 2011. You deserve some relaxation time. Please enjoy your family and we’ll all be here if you want to “POP” in once in-a-while just to tell us some fun thing you are doing! No words can adequately express my appreciation. Thank yooou! (that’s with a hug)
Mary Cameron
MLMG (Montana Mollie)
Thank you, Chaya,please know that our gratatude flys along with you and Buddy like colorful butterfly wings. Our smiles will be there in all you see that’s beautiful. Our souls fly with you. Thanks for being with us during this trying time. Mollie
Dear Chaya,
Thanks for all you done both for me, and for the thousands of others you and your family have helped and supported. Whatever you decide to do in the future, the websites will remain a hugely valuable resource, a mine of information, advice and encouragement.
You have worked so hard for us, and given so much of your self that I think a sabbatical is probably long overdue!
Enjoy your time with Buddy, and take good care of yourself.
Chris
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